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Vetting Someone Properly

“You should have vetted them,” they scoff.

“Yeah, make better choices,” someone adds derisively.


Yes. It’s true that making good choices is always better than not.


And, because you “vetted” someone doesn’t mean you can control them.


So many people credit themselves for choices their partner makes.


If a man DECIDES to be a good father, women watch and sigh to themselves, “I chose well.”


➡️ No you didn’t. He did. Being a good Dad is his choice. It’s a choice that he alone makes daily.


If a woman DECIDES to love her children well, the Dad will proudly observe her and say, “I chose well.”


➡️ No you didn’t. She’s choosing to nurture her family in this way. She alone chooses her care on a minute-by-minute basis.


CONVERSELY, when someone decides to not show up for their children, we look down on the person who does, and shrug, “That’s your fault. You should have chosen better.”


Maybe. And, also, nope.


My former person changed his mind, even though I vetted him. That was his decision. And his choices are not mine to control. The credit - nor blame - for another person’s decisions isn’t mine to carry.


It’s not yours, either.


If you have an active spouse, partner, or coparent, be grateful for the choices they’ve made.💕


If you don’t, there’s no reason to carry around shame or blame. Let that go. After all, you’re the one that’s showing up! Present. Loving. Giving. Serving.


Keep making good choices.🥰


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